Module 5: relationship drivers: starters versus fundamentals.

Relationship drivers: starters versus fundamentals.

1. If you jump into a relationship without taking time to understand who the other person really is, there’s a good chance you'll be swayed by superficial traits like looks or charm. It’s like buying a car because it has heated seats but forgetting to check if the engine works😬.
2. The first thing to do when you want to learn who your partner is, is to classify all of the relationship drivers regarding that person into two groups, starters and fundamentals.
3. The starters get you interested in your partner and get the relationship started, but if they are the only elements that are keeping the two of you together then the relationship is likely to lose attraction and fall apart.
4. Starters have the additional drawback that they are often fragile: good looks disappear as you get older and money is an inferior happiness driver compared to basic human needs such as friendship and intimacy. Relationship fundamentals are lasting and eventually overrule starters.
5. EQ gives your partner the ability to identify your emotions, empathy allows your partner to feel for you, but only care translates these feelings into actions to help you. EQ is a prerequisite for empathy, which is a prerequisite for care. EQ in itself, so without empathy and care, is only a relationship starter as it can also work against you.
6. A relationship based on starters lacks sustainability because starters don’t support personal growth towards the top of Maslov’s pyramid, which is where people should develop towards.

Q&A

Examples of RELATIONSHIP STARTERS:

1. Personality
2. Money
3. Status
4. Looks
5. IQ
6. Athleticism
7. EQ

Examples of RELATIONSHIP FUNDAMENTALS:

1. Character
2. Care
3. Loyalty
4. Honesty
5. Happiness baseline, inner peace
6. Views on life
7. Wisdom

SUMMARY OF MODULE 5:

Peter’s care pyramid:

        Care
       Empathy
Emotional Intelligence